The healthy or mature Guilt is about recognizing that I’ve made a mistake or did something that created pain or any sort of damage.

That my words or actions were not ok.

The mature Guilt leads me to apologize.

And then – I fix what needs to be fixed.

And then – I learn a lesson from that experience, so I won’t repeat it again.

And then – I forgive myself.

And then – I move on with my life.

The mature Guilt requires me to take 100% responsibility for myself.

I admit my mistake and therefore I can learn from my own experience.


The toxic or immature Guilt causes me to get stuck in the past and block my power by constantly reverting to my old mistake. Like – for ages.

The toxic Guilt doesn’t allow me to forgive myself.

And accepting that – indeed – I’m not perfect and I did something wrong.

However, the immature Guilt is all about myself:

I’m constantly ruminating about why I did it, how bad it was, what would have happened if I hadn’t done it, how much my life has changed because of that, how much I have to suffer now…

…instead of focusing on correcting the mistake, apologizing, and making amends with possible victims of my deeds.

Ultimately, Toxic Guilt leads to self-victimization – I become my own victim.

There is work to be done.

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