The Healthy or Mature Shame shows up to protect my private, intimate, and public self.
It helps to set healthy boundaries between me and the world.
Healthy Shame comes when I reveal myself and my life too much.
Or when I open up to the wrong people.
Definitely, not everyone should know everything about me.
Only my relatives have access to some private information and situations.
And there is also a space reserved exclusively for me.
It’s evident that I don’t let strangers look into my phone, wardrobes, or bedroom.
On the other hand, remember a time when you were dragged into hearing someone’s personal confessions or witnessing a family quarrel? How did you feel then?
In this situation, the other person lacked the Healthy Shame.
The Immature or Toxic Shame is about feeling ashamed of myself.
When I think that I and everything about me is lame, weak, stupid, worthless, and certainly – worse than others.
This is a very common, neurotic Shame.
Nevertheless, the Immature Shame has a valuable message for me: I need to heal the deep belief that I’m not enough and not worthy.
To free yourself from the Toxic Shame, you need to free yourself from its cause, which is the unconscious program of not being enough.
And when you replace this program with the new one: „I’m enough and lovable”, your Shame and many other problems, will disappear by themselves.
I highly recommend 🙂